Tomorrow's post will be a celebration of 39 years of weddedness.  A new word!

Today.  I am trying to accept and understand and remember the words of my Dad from the days I was a teen, "Who ever told you that life was going to be fair?"  There have been points in this life that I have reflected back on that question.  I've tried over and over to be fair in any situation that I could.

Another quote haunting me is the theme of NEVER GIVE UP!!  But then I wonder how many times I am going to open myself up to feeling so hurt.

Sister Carol then reminds me of the definition of insanity.  Continuing to do the same thing, and expect a different result.  Trouble is I don't know what else to do.

Each time it happens I tell myself it is the last time  A few months pass and I open my arms again, and find myself holding onto nothing.  Emptiness.

Is this the time I accept it?  Maybe so.  I hope so.

I need to find a way to make the rest of the picture be in color.  Vibrant.  Happy.  Joyful.  I need to remember how lucky I am to have the people in my life who love me.  I need to realize that not everyone in my life will.  I need to recognize those people who want to share joy with me, and quite worrying about those who don't.

It's going to be hard.  I can do hard.

And I am done being a milk toast.  I'm done walking on egg shells.  I'm moving forward with the cards I have.  I'll play them the best I can.

Easter 2013

It was such a beautiful day!  My youngest brother Kevin is always such a gracious host, inviting us all in for a brunch and egg hunt.  This is even though the only children hunting for the last 10 years have been mine...

The last two years I have made sure to bring some things for the kiddos to play with.  The bubbles are always a big hit!!  Ethan, Carter and Henry had a lot of fun with them.

Even my Dad had to get into the action!!!  You can see a bubble coming from the wand Carter is holding here.  In the background is my sister Nancy having a chat with Jillian, who had announced ahead of time that she was too old to be hunting eggs at the ripe old age of 11 1/2 and that she would instead by hiding the eggs with Kelli and helping Henry to find his fair share.

This is also one of my few chances each year to get a photo of the four of them together.  And this year it was a struggle....

This was the official "Okay, go ahead and make a goofy face" photo...

I'll have to go into my photo file and find the last few years and post them sequentially.  

Next year there will be one more Templeton Grandbaby to add.....WOO HOO!!!